Hi, in this beautiful day.
Today's agenda continues with another aspect of our lives.
What controls and determines the quality of our lives?
Those are the meanings we associate to the things in our lives. We shape these meanings with our own psychology and our beliefs and values we have created.
This may sound a bit complicated but in reality it is simple.
We can control our perception of things in life.
We have the choice to see things optimisticly or pesimisticly.
We all know the saying about a half full or half empty glass of water and it is valid for all things, experiences, problems we face in our lives.
This perceptual difference- varying from pesimistic to optimistic not only affects greatly the quality of one's life but also what actions we will take next.
So it changes all. Just the simple decision to look ot the bright side and always find the positive aspect (and there is always something useful,positive that can be taken from a bad happening or problem, or tough situation) instead of saying in our head all the bad thoughts we can come up with.
It is really a choice, if you think about it from an angle. Try observing yourself from a distance and imagine Yourself as a friend of yours that you want to help. Put yourself in his shoes and see the situation as observer. This can give you clear picture of what is happening, no emotions attached. Just reason. This is something I already wrote about in my previous blogs but I find this soo important.
When you see yourself like this there are a few steps you could use to analyze better your situation.
Question you may ask here is how do we do that?
1st step is change in your physiology.
Think about a stressful moment or unhappy moment and how your body was. You were probably looking down, breathing shallow, your voice was low, your shoulders were a bit crooked to the inside. Feel depressed and see your body language.
This is what you should avoid.
Instread, try elevating your voice, fill it with energy. Breathe deeply. Stand tall with your shoulders to the back, do not look down but straight ahead. Feel how all changes instantaneously. This is what you should do when you face problems or tough situations, or everytime actually.
2nd step is where you focus.
It's simple, whatever you focus on you will feel. This is what I started with, focus on the positive, always try to find it no matter how tough the situation is. It can be even that this challenge just makes you stronger. But focus on that not on the problem- loss in some way or failiure.
Remember that all great people have most failiures amongst us. Because they never gave up and focused on what is important. The goal.
3rd step is Language.
What language do we use.
You agree this is also something we control as the other 2 steps.
What do you say to yourself or to the others when problem arises or something unpleasant happens. What exact words do you use.
Think about it. Do you keep saying when it get tough, I can't do it. I am not educated enough, I am too young. This is awful. This is devastating and so on and so on.
Or you can say I can do it. I will manage. This makes me stronger. I know how to do this. This challenge presents an opportunity. This is hard but exciting. This is devastating but not for me and so on and so on you get the point.
Keep in mind that this can be internal monologue or also something you say when in a group of people. You have to always be aware of what language you use.
First, internally, to just feel better, face challenges easier, and be in general more positive person.
Secondly, when your are amongst other people. If you use the right language you will be loved and people will want your company because on subconscious level you give them some energy, power, joy or whatever positive emotion.
Not the same if you are negative. You will often be avoided and there will not be many people to call you on Saturday night.
So I ask you just start keeping note on how you:
Use your body, physiology.
What you focus on, be positive, see the good.
What words you use as mono and dialogue.
Traing yourself and you will feel great difference in the quality of your life.
To be continued on the 1st of July, the subject will be Human needs.
Best of all,